Narrator

Narrator

Today, with Superman unaware of their predicament, Mr. Jones points a gun at Batman and Robin who are chained to the wall in an ancient prison barracks.

Jones

Any last requests, gentlemen?

Robin

Yes, Mr. Jones. (Casually) I'd like to see you drop dead.

Batman

Amen to that.

Jones

That is just what I'm about to arrange for you to do. Right now!

Announcer

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Narrator

While a man who called himself Mr. Jones held the famous Batman prisoner, another man impersonated Superman's friend, and after making a series of un-American public speeches, led Robin, Batman's young companion into an ambush. Meanwhile, Superman had discovered a recording of the mysterious Mr. Jones's voice, which Batman had left behind him, and certain that Jones was an alias for some professional rabble rouser, he had duplicates of the recording made, and arranged for them to be broadcast over radio stations throughout the country, offering ten thousand dollars to whoever could identify the man who called himself Jones. As we continue now, Superman in his guise of reporter Clark Kent, has been notified that a man who claimed he could identify Jones's voice had arrived at the Daily Planet Radio station. At the station, Kent is directed to the managers office where a middle aged weather beaten man with shrewd, faded blue eyes sits on the edge of a chair, a battered old hat on his knees.

Kent

Hello, my name is Kent. Clark Kent.

Hemple

How do you do. Mine's Hemple. William Hemple.

Kent

Mr. Hemple, I understand you can identify the man who's voice we've been broadcasting.

Hemple

Yep.

Kent

Fine! Who is he?

Hemple

Not so fast, young man. Fellow said on the radio I get ten thousand dollars if I tell you who belongs to that voice.

Kent

That's right.

Hemple

So, I ain't sayin' nuthin til I see the money.

Kent

But you'll get the money, Mr. Hemple. After all the offer is made by the Daily Planet, the largest newspaper in Metropolis, and we'll pay off. Just tell me who owns that voice so I can go after him! There are two lives at stake..

Hemple

Well, maybe so, but I want to see that money.

Kent

No maybes about it, believe me! Now if you really know who's voice that is on the recording, in the name of heaven tell me!

Hemple

Like I said before, young fella, I'll tell ya when I see the ten thousand dollars.

Kent

But great Scott! I...

Hemple

Won't do you no good to get hot under the collar, neither. I know my rights.

Kent

Okay, Mr. Hemple, here's the check, drawn to your order.

Hemple

Fine, let's have it.

Kent

No. No. No. I'll hold it, if you don't mind, until you've identified the voice. If you can.

MUSIC

I can. Fellow owns that voice is Mort Veeler. Now give me the check.

Kent

Just a minute. Who's Mort Veeler?

Hemple

Fellow rides around out in the country, making speeches agin' what he calls foreigners and sayin' for us not to send no help to the starvin' folks in Europe.

Kent

Great Scott. I think you've hit it. That's the man I heard once way up in Maine. Yes, now I recall, it is his voice on the recording!

Hemple

Sure it is. Give me my check.

Kent

Here you are, Mr. Hemple.

Hemple

Much obliged. Heh, heh, heh. Easiest money I ever made in my life.

Kent

Wait a minute! Tell me, do you know where this Mort Veeler is now?

Hemple

Didn't say on the radio I had to say that.

Kent

You don't, but I've got to find this man quickly, because he's holding a man and a boy prisoners. As a matter of fact, it may already be too late to save their lives.

Hemple

Is that a fact?

Kent

Yes. If you could help me find this Veeler quickly...

Hemple

Say, maybe I can at that.

Kent

You do know where he is?

Hemple

Don't know for sure. But this Veeler, he's got some kind of society. Calls it the...No help for Europe..or .Nuthin for Foreigners. I don't recollect just exactly what.

Kent

It's important. Try to remember, please!

Hemple

Can't seem to...never paid no 'tention comin' I don't hold with fellows like him, always trying to stir up bad feelin's. No good.

Kent

That's right. Now if you can remember the name of his outfit I can trace him and...

Hemple

Well, I can't. Come to think of it, though, the name and the address too are on his envelopes.

Kent

Oh?

Hemple

The ones he sends out asking for contributions.

Kent

Wonderful, do you have one of them?

Hemple

Ayuh. Seems to me I should have. Always keep envelopes to figure my taxes on. Saves buying paper.

Kent

Good, can you let me have one of them right away?

Hemple

Well, they're at home. Up on the farm. It's just below Mayfield about 90 miles up state.

Kent

Only 90 miles? We can be there in a minute or two. Come on, Mr. Hemple!

Hemple

Be there in a minute or two! Do you know what you're sayin', young fella?

Kent

Huh? Oh, well I...I... that is, look, Mr. Hemple, you...you've heard of Superman, haven't you?

Hemple

Yep. Shore have.

Kent

Well, he's a friend of the people whom Mort Veeler abducted. And he's here in this building right now.

Hemple

Eh? Where? You're joking.

Kent

DOOR OPENS

SUPERMAN

HELLO, MR. HEMPLE.

Hemple

Heavens! Who be you?

SUPERMAN

I'M SUPERMAN. ARE YOU READY FOR A QUICK TRIP UP TO YOUR FARM?

Hemple

My farm...you really Superman?

SUPERMAN

WINDOW SLIDES UP.

Hemple

Well, I'll be.

SUPERMAN

THERE WE ARE, NOW, UP WITH YOU, MR. HEMPLE

Hemple

Hey, hey! Put me down! What'chyou aimin to do?

SUPERMAN

Rustling through drawers and papers.

SUPERMAN

Have you found that envelope yet, Mr. Hemple?

Hemple

Nope, can't seem to lay my hands on them Mort Veeler things, Superman. Must have thrown them away.

SUPERMAN

BUT YOU SAID THEY WERE HERE IN YOUR HOUSE!

Hemple

They was, I know, cuz I've been scribblin' on 'em.

SUPERMAN

MUSIC

NARRATOR

As Superman and farmer Hemple search for the envelopes bearing Mort Veeler's address, Veeler himself in his alias of Mr. Jones, stands in the ancient prison block where Batman and Robin are chained by leg shackles to the wall. Pointing a revolver at them, he smiles, sardonically.

Jones

Once again, gentlemen, I'll ask you, any last requests.

Batman

Yes, Jones, I have.

Jones

Really? What is it, Batman?

Batman

I'd, I'd like a last cigarette.

Robin

Cigarette?

Jones

Since when do you smoke, Batman?

Batman

Well I don't, much, but when a tight spot I sort of like a cigarette.

Jones

You do, eh? Well, I don't know.

Batman

Now, look, Jones, you took my name, my fortune, and now you're going to take my life. A last cigarette isn't too much to ask in return, is it?

Jones

Chuckles. Under the circumstances I think that yes you are entitled to a last cigarette.

Batman

Thanks. Would you give me one, please?

Jones

I have none, because I only smoke cigars, but I know some of the boys have cigarettes. I'll send one in and I'll give you ten minutes to enjoy it. Then...well, you know what happens then.

Batman

Yes. Yes, I know.

Jones

DOOR CLOSES

Robin

Look Batman, what's the idea of asking for a cigarette? You never smoke.

Batman

Wake up, Robin. Jones said he's going to send someone in here, didn't he?

Robin

Yeah. So what?

Batman

So we're going to make a last stab for our lives, that's what.

Robin

How? What good is...?

Batman

I'm going to try to coax Jones' playmate close enough for us to grab him. Then I'll take his gun and shoot our chains off and then...

Robin

And then we go to town! Oh, boy, Batman!

Batman

DOOR OPENS

Narrator

Batman and Robin tense their muscles as a burly unshaven giant of a man approaches, a package of cigarettes in a huge, hamlike hand.

Robin

Hey, he's pretty big, Batman.

Batman

The bigger they are, Robin, the harder they fall. Now get set. You got a cigarette for my, buddy?

Cigarette Man

Yeah. Here's one. Catch.

Batman

Thanks. Match?

Cigarette Man

SOUND OF PACKET HITTING FLOOR

Batman

Shucks. I missed it.

Robin

Butterfingers.

Batman

Uh..look, I can't quite reach the matches. Would you mind picking them up for me, please.

Cigarette man

FOOTSTEPS.

Batman

Now, Robin!

Robin

SOUNDS OF CHAINS CLINKING AND STRUGGLE

Batman

I've got my hand over his mouth.

Robin

I've got his feet. Put him to sleep, Batman!

Batman

Good night, sweet heart. There, that does it.

Robin

But good, pappy.

Batman

Quick, now help me go through his pockets for his gun.

Robin

Check. Hey, I can't find a gun.

Batman

Neither can I.

Jones

What's going on in here?

Robin

It's Jonesy. What do we do?

Batman

Well..there's nothing we can do now, Robin, this is it.

NARRATOR, over organ music