Dated Death
The teamings between Superman and Batman and Robin are some of the most popular episodes of the series. |
Narrator |
Having somehow learned that the famous Batman and Bruce Wayne were one and the same person, a man calling himself Jones persuaded Batman to go away with him under the threat of revealing his secret. Two weeks later an impersonator, wearing Batman's costume, appeared in Metropolis. The impostor looked and spoke so much like Batman that even Robin and Clark Kent who is Superman were fooled, and after appearing at two huge mass meetings where he made rabble rousing un-American speeches, the impersonator led Robin into an ambush and then disappeared. While Superman, who by that time knew the truth, perfected a plan to locate his missing friends, Batman and Robin were reunited far upstate in an old prison barracks dating back to Revolutionary days. There, as prisoners of the mysterious Mr. Jones, they were shackled by heavy chains around their ankles to iron staples embedded in the beams. As we join them now, they are pressing their ears against a thin crack in the wall through which they have just overheard a conversation between Jones and a man he calls Ed, Batman's impersonator. Listen.
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Robin |
Holy smokes, Batman. Jones said he's going to ring down the curtain on us tonight.
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Batman |
Yes, I heard him, Robin.
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Robin |
What are we going to do, just wait here like mice?
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Batman |
Got any good suggestions?
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Robin |
Not even a bad one. Look, why do you...
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Batman |
Hold it, here comes Jones now.
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Jones |
They're in here, Ed.
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Robin |
Yep, here they come.
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Batman |
Listen, Robin. If they come close enough for us to get our hands on them.
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Robin |
I get it, pappy.
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Mr. Jones |
Good morning, gentleman. I hope you're quite comfortable.
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Batman |
Never felt better, Mr. Jones.
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Robin |
Ah, we're crazy about your hotel, Jonesy. Especially the sleeping accommodations. Nothing like a good hard floor to keep a fellow feeling fit, I always say.
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| Throughout their adventures on Superman Batman and Robin were portrayed by a variety of actors, most commonly Matt Crowley and Ronald Liss (although Stacy Harris often played Batman, sometimes substituting for Crowley even in the middle of a storyline). |
Mr. Jones |
Ha hah. I'm glad you haven't lost your sense of humor, Robin.
FOOTSTEPS
Don't go any closer, Ed. These chaps might forget their manners.
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Batman |
Oh, come on. You needn't be shy.
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Robin |
Yeah, step right up and shake our hands.
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Ed |
Smart little punk, aren'tcha.
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Robin |
Oh, boy, come just a bit closer and repeat that, bud, please.
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Mr. Jones |
Stay right where you are, Ed!
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Ed |
If you think I'm afraid of these guys...
FOOTSTEPS. |
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Robin |
Grab him, Batman!
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Mr. Jones |
Back, back you fool!
SCUFFLING |
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Batman |
Missed him!
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Robin |
Ah, tough luck, chum.
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Mr. Jones |
From here in Ed I suggest you forget your stupid bravado and do as you're told or you'll regret it.
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Robin |
You can say that again.
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Mr. Jones |
Now, let's get down to business. Batman, I want you to do me a favor.
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Batman |
Really? This oughtta be good.
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Robin |
Yeah, I can't wait to hear it.
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Batman |
Well, spill it, Jones.
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Mr. Jones |
It's really quite simple, Batman. I just want you to tell me in which banks or vaults you have your safe deposit boxes, and I want you to give me the numbers of your boxes.
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Batman |
That's all, eh?
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Robin |
Are you kidding?
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| Batman and Robin were also proposed for their own series on at least two occasions. The first was in 1943 during the war. A sample premiere episode, "The Case of the Drowning Seal," revised Dick Grayson's origin to make his parents undercover FBI agents murdered by Nazi spies rather than gangsters. It did not make it to the air. Only the script exists. |
Mr. Jones |
I figure you must have the bulk of your wealth in securities, bonds and stocks and so on, in your safe deposit box. Since it was never possible for Ed or myself to follow you into bank vaults we couldn't learn just where your safety deposit boxes are, or their numbers, and Ed must have that information so as not to arouse the suspicion of the vault guards. You understand.
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Batman |
Sure, sure, I understand, alright, but if you think I'm going to give you any of that information, you're crazy.
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Robin |
And how.
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Mr. Jones |
Maybe this will help you to see things my way, Batman.
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Robin |
Ah oh.
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Batman |
Put that gun down, Jones!
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Mr. Jones |
Don't be ridiculous. This revolver is pointed at Robin, and at this distance I can't possibly miss him. Now do you tell me what I want to know, Batman, or do I fire?
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Batman |
Now, wait.
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Robin |
He's bluffing, Batman!
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| In 1950, another attempt was made to get Batman his own series with the Batman Mystery Club, a weekly "club" in which Batman investigated ghost stories. Although it never aired, one episode of that series, "The Monster of Dumphrey's Hall," was completed and still exists. |
Mr. Jones |
You should realize by now that I don't bluff. Now I'll count to three. If by the time I reach three you still haven't talked Batman it will be the end of Robin. One.
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Robin |
Don't tell him, Batman!
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Mr. Jones |
Two.
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Robin |
He's going to finish us anyway!
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Mr. Jones |
Thr...
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Batman |
Wait, I'll tell you.
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Robin |
No!
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Mr. Jones |
I thought you would.
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Robin |
No, don't Batman! Don't talk. You know he's going to finish us anyhow. You heard him say so!
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Batman |
I can't stand here and watch him shoot you, Robin.
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Mr. Jones |
Of course not. Now, tell me, please.
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Batman |
All right, all right, here it is.
MUSIC |
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Kent |
I've just come from the Daily Planet radio station, Lois. It's all set.
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Lois |
What's all set, Clark?
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Kent |
The broadcast of the recording of Mr. Jones' voice. You know, the one I found in Batman's study.
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Lois |
Oh, yes. The station has agreed to run it?
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Kent |
Yes, that's right. They'll broadcast it once every hour, with the announcement that anyone who identifies the voice will be paid ten thousand dollars.
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Lois |
Ten thousand dollars!
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Kent |
Yep.
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Lois |
But why, Clark?
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Kent |
Well, as I told you the other day I'm sure this man Jones is responsible for Batman and Robin's disappearance. And I'm also sure that Jones isn't his right name.
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Lois |
But how can you be sure?
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Kent |
Because I've heard his voice before, somewhere, Lois. In public, I think. And it didn't belong to anybody named Jones!
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Lois |
I see. But how can you...?
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Kent |
I figure that somebody who hears the recording of this voice will be able to identify it.
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Lois |
With a chance to win ten thousand dollars, practically anyone within reach of the Planet wavelength will listen.
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Kent |
That's what we hope.
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Lois |
But we're only a local station, Clark. Suppose Jones or whatever his name is hangs out, well, say, a thousand miles away and is known only out there?
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Kent |
Taken care of that. This morning I personally delivered copies of the recording to five hundred radio stations in every part of the country. So you see there's nothing..
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Lois |
You personally delivered recordings all over the country? This morning?
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Kent |
(Smugly) That's right.
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Lois |
Well, how could you?
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Kent |
How could I what ....oh....oh... I mean I...I
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Lois |
You mean you sent them out. Airmail?
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Kent |
Well, not exactly. I....I...
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Lois |
Clark, what are you stuttering about?
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Kent |
Oh, I don't know, I guess I'm just nervous, Lois. About Batman and Robin, I mean. I'm sure they're in great danger.
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Lois |
Yes, I'm worried too, Clark. Fantastic as it sounds, I'm beginning to believe you were right, and that it wasn't Batman who made those un-American speeches.
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Kent |
Oh, I'm positive it wasn't. If only...Uh oh.
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Lois |
What's the matter?
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Kent |
Ten fifteen. Time for the Planet announcement. I brought this portable radio down so we could hear it.
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Lois |
Oh! Well, turn it on!
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Kent |
I am.
SNAP ON RADIO.
There. Listen.
RADIO WARMING UP. |
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RADIO VOICE |
And now we're going to play a recording of the voice. It's the voice of a man. And if anyone can properly identify it, he or she will be paid ten thousand dollars.
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Kent |
Quiet, Lois.
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Lois |
Huh? I didn't say anything.
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RADIO VOICE |
Here it is. Listen closely, please. ''Strange or not, I insist you come to my place with me now to discuss the matter.''
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Lois |
That's Jones, isn't it Clark?
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Kent |
Yes.
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Jones ON RADIO |
''It's not a cock-and bull-story.''
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| Radio writers had to make everything extremely obvious, especially for children's shows, but it didn't mean they couldn't have a sense of humor about it. |
Lois Kent <Lois |
What's he talking about? It doesn't make any sense!
Oh, we cut out Batman's voice so as not to confuse anyone.
Oh, I see.
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Jones |
''That's sheer nonsense, as you'll find out. Well, we're wasting time. I insist that you come away with me at once.''
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RADIO spokesman |
There you are, ladies and gentlemen. Can you identify that voice? Well, there's ten thousand dollars waiting for you if you can.
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Kent |
That's all there is.
SNAP OFF RADIO.
Now, if only someone can identify it, Lois, before it's too late. It's our only chance to save Batman and Robin!
MUSIC |
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Narrator |
Will somebody identify the voice of the mysterious Mr. Jones before it is too late? It is the middle of the afternoon, and in his office in the Daily Planet with Lois Lane, Clark Kent paces the floor anxiously.
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Lois |
For heavens sake, sit down, Clark. You're wearing a path in the carpet.
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Kent |
Oh, hang the carpet. That recording has been on the air for over five hours, now, Lois, but nobody has called up to identify Jones' voice.
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Lois |
But it takes time.
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Kent |
Time is one thing we haven't got.
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Lois |
Well, I know...
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Kent |
For all we know it might already be too late to save Batman and Robin.
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Lois |
Oh, now, look here...
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Kent |
And another thing I counted on hasn't worked out, either.
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Lois |
What's that?
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Kent |
I learned that Batman's impersonator appeared at the bank the other day, forged Batman's signature and drew out all his cash!
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Lois |
He did?
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Kent |
Yes. I happen to know that most of Batman's fortune is in securities...I don't know where he keeps them but I left word at all the banks that if anyone...
PHONE RINGS
Oh, just a minute, Lois.
PICK UP RECEIVER
Clark Kent speaking. Who? Oh, yes, Mr. Anders...he did? When?
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Lois |
What is it, Clark?
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Kent |
He's there now, you say.
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Lois |
What is it?
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Kent |
Well, hold him, stall him somehow. I'll be there at once! So long.
HANGS UP. |
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Lois |
Clark, what is it?
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Kent |
Bru...Batman's impersonator is at the Metropolis Trust Company now! In their safety deposit vault!
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Lois |
He is!
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Kent |
Yes, I'm going right out there. Keep your fingers crossed that I'm in time, Lois.
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Narrator |
Rushing from his office to a deserted store room, Clark Kent swiftly strips off his business suit to reveal the blue costume and brilliant red cape of Superman.
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Kent |
UP, UP, AND AWAY.
FLYING
MUSIC |
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Narrator |
Then he streaks away through the bright afternoon sky bound for the Metropolis Trust Company. Will he arrive in time to seize Batman's impersonator and perhaps Mr. Jones, too? There's a thrill a minute in tomorrow's exciting episode, fellows and girls, so be sure to listen. Tune in same time, same station for CHAPTER 8 OF BATMAN'S GREAT MYSTERY ON THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN.
Superman is a copyrighted feature appearing in Superman DC Comics Magazine, and is brought to you Monday through Friday at this same time.
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